Monday, January 10, 2011

How strong is my resolve?

It's a new year and with it always comes new resolutions.

Some are destined to be broken within days of being made. Others last a little longer.

I, of course, made a resolution to lose weight. It's a tradition. Why stop now?

When making my resolutions, I couldn't help but think of the gift I received from my parents for Christmas. Unbeknownst to me, and with the help of my sneaky sister, my mom had my blog published.


Before you stop and think, "Why on earth would she publish this nonsense..?" - I know that is what you are thinking because I thought it too - let me tell you what I have realized.

While 90% of this blog is nonsense.... there are times that I have written things that were heartfelt, and months later, when I have went back and read it, I almost felt like an outsider looking in...and reading SOMEONE else's thoughts. It's surreal. And at times, surprisingly, moving.

Those are the things that mom wanted to capture. I am sure of it.

However, as I flipped through the pages of the book(s), I found myself most drawn in by some of the simple, daily accounts I had captured. Whether it be something the kids said, or an quick story of how we spent the weekend, I was drawn in by life - MY LIFE - years removed from that day.

And I liked it.

Because there are a few that read this blog, I find myself trying to make each post entertaining. At the very least I want it to all come together or be an interesting read. But with those restrictions I have found myself posting less....and less....and less.

I have cycled like this many times while having this blog; times when I posted frequently and times when I didn't post at all. Each time that I would get back in the swing of posting I would try and convince myself to spend less time caring about quality (and by quality I mean something that could be viewed as at least as entertaining as reading the phone book) and think more about quantity and what memory would be recorded in a seemingly mindless post. A memory that might not be funny, or sad, or a major life event - but a memory nonetheless. I was mildly successful. But being me...I want to be liked. If people stop by to read, I want them to enjoy it.

But, this resulted in me posting less - if at all.

Lately I keep thinking about my day to day life and the memories that are created in such.

It was, after all, those memories that I gravitated to while looking through that book of mine. Or book of me. Or us. Or rather "Helping Me Up", as it was.

Memories of my kids dinner time prayer. Memories of a nighttime ritual.

Memories of a squabble with my husband.

These things are memories...good, bad and humorous.

Entertaining and not.

And I loved having tangible evidence of days- and years- gone by.

So, my resolution is to try and record more memories. Even if they are memories of the mundane.

Bear with me.

It might not be pretty.

But, hopefully, this resolution will last longer than my resolution to lose weight usually does!


Marlana said...

In the words of my sweet son, "That's what I'm talkin' bout!" I love the everyday memories. I can't wait to read more! You being you is just naturally fun/funny! That's one of your endearing qualities! :)

Bina said...

Oh that is a wonderful gift...and the day to day stuff is what makes your life the story it is!!

Manda said...

very cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! do you mean they made you a book? i wanna see it when i am all 15 DAYS!