Thursday, February 10, 2011

I would like to buy a vowel

I think that I have mentioned here before my husband's dislike of technology. He claims that it is the "downfall of society". Actually he initially said this in reference to video games and I believe that he has since expanded and now allows facebook and texting to share in the blame.

He thinks it terms of basics.


Dukes of Hazzard.


(No, he isn't bilingual.)

Anyway, out of the blue, on Monday, my husband started texting.

(He can barely write with a pen and paper!)

It appears that he has decided to incorporate the facebook trend into texts.

Let me explain.

He doesn't use a computer, therefore isn't on facebook. He does, however, seem to have mastered the random, one line facebook status updates.

And he sends them as texts.

Texts that generally make fun of me, and people like me, who get wrapped up in all the "societal downfall".

Some recent texts my very country, talk radio listening, work with his hands, can barely use a phone, cowboy husband has sent:

  • I ripped my Crystal Gayle t-shirt.
  • Yay! I started my period.
  • I guess I'm not pregnant.
  • I hate that 4 Fergie. (He thought Fergie messed up on the National Anthem at the Superbowl. He is in touch, people.)
  • 8 pts left (referencing weight watchers)
  • I would die without facebook. (which he isn't even on)
  • I just downloaded some Elton John (he doesn't own an iPod and suffice it to say that Elton isn't on talk radio or a classic country station)
  • Brokeback Mountain-LOVED IT! (...yeah...he's never seen it)
  • Waiting on BB2 (Brokeback 2. Ahem)
  • Can't believe what 50 cent named his dog

And then he started leaving out random vowels and an occasional consonant.

  • Ct scrtch fvr
  • I lv m n m (I asked. He DOES know how to actually spell Eminem)
  • Fat btm grls make rakn wrld go rnd
  • Jef Bird is so funy (Oh. Yes. He. Did. Jeff!)
  • Fbr br 4 me 4 spr ("Fiber bar for me for supper" -guess he was low on pts)
  • Lv u lots shak n bak (Aww.....that is the most romantic thing he has ever "said" to me!)

I have the best husband ever.

Hands down the oddest, but definitely the best.

He makes me laugh every day!

And laugh out loud with each incoming text.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

We will rock you...

This past weekend we actually got out of our house and went somewhere.

Not that we don't ever go anywhere, but it does seem like since "Blizzard 2011" we have went considerably less.

Saturday morning Steven decided that we needed a family bowling trip. Family as in mom, dad, Aunt Sissy, Uncle Jason and us.

A bowling trip preceded by pizza.

What could be better?

The first frame, B actually had a higher score than me.

He had a seven.

I had a four.


After that I hit my stride and ended the game in the 90's. I think this was an all time high for me.

Please don't roll your eyes.

Steven and Jason were on fire. They each bowled a game of 100+.

I think around 109 is about right.

Again, please don't roll your eyes.

In my family, this is AWESOME!

My dad even accused them of practicing in their free time to make him look bad. (You can about imagine what his game high was.)

What can I say?

We. Rock.

As a family....and at bowling.

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Back in my day they just called it "a lot of snow"....

I arrived home on Monday night ready to prepare for "Blizzard 2011". Although the snow had yet to fall, what I can only call "instinct" kicked in and I started baking.

First up, chocolate cake and supper.

OK. So supper was leftovers.

And I didn't bake them, I microwaved them.

But, still.

There was cake.


Tuesday morning we woke to a few inches of sleet and the snow started to fall. The forecast had changed one or a hundred times in the last 24 hours and from what I could tell, I had no idea how much would fall.

The fact that we had woke up that morning with electricity was the first indication that we might have beat the odds.

Of course, I have a sneaking suspicion that we had electricity for the sole reason that we had prepared to not have electricity.

Either way, I decided to put the electricity that I was so thankful for to work. The kids requested waffles and I aimed to please.

However, breakfast was a not-so-distant memory when I found B eating a snack.

From the looks of the cake, he wasn't the only one.

From the looks of the cake, a knife and bowl weren't required.

From the looks of the cake, they didn't like the cake, only the icing.

So I did what any normal mother would do.

I made a peach pie.

Considering that the snow kept accumulating at a fast rate, the kids decided that we needed to get the dogs inside. Rowdy was content to stay outside, but reluctantly came into the garage. Daisy, was happy to join us in the house, however, I believe that this was in part because she didn't know what was in store.

Two words: A. Bath.

Daisy hadn't had a bath, shampoo, comb/brush and blow dry treatment in over 7 years.

I think that she believed that it hadn't been nearly long enough.

Once done, she recovered in a bed that we had made her.

It was from this bed that she watched Seabiscuit with the rest of the family.

I think she liked it.


Wednesday there was at least 7 inches of snow on the ground. I had already decided that I wasn't going to go into work and they didn't expect me to.

The kids wanted me to play because, (their words) I "am the best at playing".

I totally saw through this and spotted their strategy right away. Instead I grabbed two sheets and made a fort.

It was awesome! (Their words)

I grabbed some books and crawled into their hide away.

Then we all took turns reading to each other. I loved the way that the kids listened so carefully to each other and respected each ones turn.

The kids decided that they wanted to sleep in the fort that night and, of course, they wanted me to sleep with them. I laid down, we all received good night kisses from daddy, and we snuggled in for the night.

Truthfully, I made it about 20 minutes.

The kids were both asleep and I was not. Nor did I see sleep in my near future. At least not on the floor. So, around 9:00 p.m. I slipped off to my bedroom and my bed.

I awoke a little after 10:00 p.m. to find that, apparently, sleeping on the floor wasn't for B either. He was snuggled in beside me.

I awoke again around midnight to find that, apparently, sleeping on the floor wasn't for L either.

I woke, finally, at 6:30 a.m. to find that Steven had moved into L's room sometime during the middle of the night.

Apparently, sleeping in a bed full of kids wasn't for him either.

It really was a night of musical beds.


Thursday marked the third day of us being shut up inside our house. The conditions were rapidly deteriorating around me.

There had been a fort in my living room for days.

There was a train track that made passing through the living room next to impossible.

Random tissues were scattered around-as were drinks.

I felt completely out of my element and I totally wanted to pick everything up, but I remembered my decision to "roll with it" and my friend Rebecca's doubt that I could, and I left the living room as it was.

In fact, it still is.

I needed a break and Steven could tell it. I had to get out of the house or I was going to start cleaning and not stop.

So, we went to town.

It was slow going and the roads were covered, but we made it.

Amazing how intriguing a trip to town, and the prospect of the grocery store can be when you haven't left your house in three days.

That afternoon, Steven checked the road conditions and determined they were ideal for sledding. We spent thirty minutes trying to get clothes on everyone and then headed outside.

We climbed in the Ranger and drove to the end of the drive.

I slid down the hill and waited at the bottom for the kids.

They came down with great speed.......

....and then swung around and slid the rest of the way backwards.

I started walking towards the kids to wait with them until Steven came down and picked us up in the Ranger.

{ 1) Yes, we are too lazy to walk to the top of the hill. 2) No, we couldn't have walked if we would have wanted to. Which we didn't.}

As I was walking I quickly determined that I couldn't stop. I kept walking but the incline of the hill made me kick up the pace. It was about 3 seconds into this that I knew that staying upright was not an option and I headed in what looked like a speed walk towards the fluffy snow of the ditch.

I. Did. Not. Make. It.

I fell on the hard packed ice and knew right away that I wasn't as flexible as I used to be.

Honestly, I never was that flexible.

After I determined that I was going to live, I hopped on the sled and rode down two more times. Once with each child.

Steven decided that he, too, wanted to sled.

He climbed on the sled and made it about a quarter of the way down the hill before crashing into the ditch.

After trying both sleds it was obvious that the kids' sled was the best. Steven climbed on and B jumped on too.

They headed down the hill as B gave me one last look.

After about 15 mintues the kids were ready to head inside. Everyone had fallen, and everyone had their fill.

They were freezing.

I think the 20 degree weather contributed to this.

The 20 degree weather.

And the fact that they couldn't seem to stay out of the snow.

When we got back into the house, L drug out a heating pad-and sat on it.

I am unsure if it was to soothe her aching backside, or to warm her up.

Either way.... I think she was on to something.