Friday, September 29, 2006

Ok, I will admit it.......

I have a weird fascination and/or attraction. I can remember having it as far back as the fifth grade. I have a thing for guys in the performing arts. There. It is out in the open. For most this wouldn't be any big deal. But, for me, it doesn't fit in to my normal attractions.

I am attracted to, and am married to, a very rough around the edges kind of guy. A self assured, quiet at times, funny, hard-working, family man. A man in theatre, generally isn't considered the blue collar type. However.........

it all began in the fifth grade during the Sound of Music production put on by our high school. A senior, Brad, played Mr. Vontrap. Now, I have no prior knowledge of Brad, but after seeing him in the play.......I LOVED Brad. I thought he was the greatest. And sexy too. Same goes to the lead in "Into the Woods" played by a kid, 6 years my junior. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I was a married woman and he was still in high school. Is it the lights? Is it the make-up? Is it the singing and dancing?

This phenomenom happens EVERYTIME I see a live production. Regardless of content. Case in point..... Last night, a group of girls including my mom and sister, went and saw "The Full Monty". You guessed it. Sucked in.....completely. Jerry had me hanging on his every.......word. And I am pretty sure it wasn't the lights, the make-up, or the singing and dancing THIS time!!!! (I am just kidding....I kill me!)

Friday, September 22, 2006

Get your kicks.....

Last night my husband and I were watching TV with the kids. As men will do, he surfed through all the channels and stopped on the local public televsion channel. My husband normally never stops on any channel-he just continually wathes a little here, a little there....so the fact that he stopped intrigued me. Apparently there was a special on "Route 66". First, I must say we aren't car enthusiasts or even historians searching out the lost stories of Route 66, but we did stop to listen and learn about this apparent "international tourist attraction" that is located in such close proximity to us.

This show stated that their are an abundance of people from overseas who come to the United States to travel the "Mother Road". There must be something that I am missing. I travel over 10 miles of this famous stretch of highway almost everyday. I must admit that some of the stories and locations pointed out by this documentary were interesting, but I would have never guessed they were interesting on an international scale. Now, my husband is all for loading up and traveling this stretch from St. Louis to Joplin, just to see what it has on it.....maybe it would be fun. I am not sure that I am quite on board with this....

When and if, I relent, I say let's do this on a huge scale. Let's go the full route. Los Angeles to Chicago..... with two small kids, I am sure it would be fun.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Am I the only one,

or does anyone else have trouble decoding the text to prevent spammers? Maybe I am just a loser.

Monday, September 18, 2006

The devil is picking on me.......seriously.

This weekend we had Mr. B baptized. There has been a lot of problems that arose leading up to the baptism.

This isn't the first time..... Rewind two and a half years to the day Miss L was to get baptized, as we were heading out the door to go to the church she vomited and had diarrhea, simultaneously. Great! Needless to say, they held church up for us and we ended up being (only?) 5 minutes late.

As you can imagine, this time I started getting ready 2 1/2 hours ahead of time. I kept telling my hubby "We are not going to be late. We are leaving early. We are going to be prepared!" Yeah, I know. You can already see this coming.

We all got ready and looked the part of the perfect little family, which we are not. Miss L in her little gymboree outfit, new socks, shoes and pretty pink bow. Mr. B looked dashing in his khaki pants and white button down shirt with his little brown leather shoes. Steven, well he spiffed up pretty well, too. As we were getting ready to load up, Mr. B was a little hungry. I gave him a cracker and let him be. Hubby said, "maybe we should take the shirt off and put it on when we get to the church, that way it doesn't get wrinkled OR dirty from the cracker." GREAT IDEA! So he removes said shirt and I continue packing the essentials.....cereal in a little baggy to feed him throughout church when he gets fussy, books, quiet toys, a bib for the meal with family afterwards, wipes, extra diapers and so on..... We load up and leave the house just under 30 minutes prior to the service.

We arrive in town about 7 minutes prior to the service and I comment that we aren't arriving any too early. "No" he says, "maybe you should start getting him ready". I say "I can't really do that because I would have to take him out of the carseat, I will just wait till we stop, but I will get the shirt ready.... WAIT, where did you put the shirt?" Steven says..."I didn't get the shirt, I thought that you got the shirt..." (Here is where all perfect parents will say, "You should've packed another set of clothes...blah, blah, blah...... OK ALREADY)

This is where and when I had my nervous breakdown.

Long story, sorta short, I called my sister who was waiting for us at the church and told her to run to the local Super Wal-Mart and get him a white button down shirt.....pronto. I went in with Miss L and Steven and Mr. B stayed behind in the truck waiting for a new shirt. I left instructions for them to all come into the back of the church and go into the cry room. Since they didn't have to come into the sanctuary, no one would be the wiser, they would just think they were in the cry room all along. I told the priest that Steven and Mr. B were regrouping and that they would be in the cry room. "No problem," he said, " as long as they are here at end of the mass....it will be fine."

This did little to calm my nerves. I entered into the sanctuary and sat down, seeking comfort and solace from my mom. I quickly recounted why Mr. B and Steven weren't with me. After I filled them in I said, "Can you believe this?'

"Yes, I can" says my mom and gives me a (nice?) little smile.

You have to love family.....they just lift you up when you need it most.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Things that make me happy.......

1. the smell of my kids after baths.
2. getting a new purse and transfering the items from one, over to the other.
3. rearranging furniture
4. being with my family...even though they drive me nuts.
5. hearing the laughter of my children.
6. looking out and seeing our freshly mowed yard.
7. a clean vehicle.
5. a clean house, with laundry done, and everything in its place. (even clean sheets on the beds)
6. picnics
7. spending time alone with each child, so as to bond with them individually. I don't get to do this often enough.
8. good music, turned up and singing along.
9. girl time with friends.
10.hearing my husband laugh......
11. red velvet cake
13. getting into your "skinny" jeans
14. witnessing selfless acts
15. a good hair day
16. crisp autumn nights
17. weanie roasts
18. the sound of tree frogs at night
19. nachos and pizza
20. organization
21. freshly painted toenails
22. stormy nights, without tornadoes, enjoyed from the safety of my home. (not on a mountain)
23. Mr. B trying to jump
24. Miss L telling wild stories
25.changing the ring on my cell phone
26. Sunday's
27. my moms' homemade ice cream
28. the way my kids look when they are sleeping
29. cherry vanilla Dr. Pepper at Sonic
30. watching my kids play (without them killing each other)
31. looking at old photographs
32. vacations with family
33. feeling like I have "connected" with someone
34. secretly watching Miss L during her ballet/tap/jazz dance classes
35. a good pen that writes well.
36. big family get-togethers, with everyone present. (Even the people you really don't like.)
37. running into someone I have at some point felt inferior to, and leave them feeling like I've turned out pretty well after all, and that they aren't all that I thought they were.
38. the enthusiasm of others.
39. pretty things.
40. completing something that I've put off doing
41. Putting money into savings
42. watching newborn baby calves on their wobbly legs
43. watching our dogs chasing each other and taking turns who is "it"
44. watching our (outdoor) cat try and nurse our Austrailian Shepherd, Rowdy.
****side note-I just this moment realized that this is the second animal on our "ranch" that is confused as to what species of animal it belongs. Do you think it is in the water? Maybe I should have the well tested, and the ponds.....****
45. watching Miss L give Mr. B rides on the gator all over the yard.
46. knowing that my kids are loved beyond belief and that I will do my very best to provide the best life possible for them.
47. Katie Couric no longer being on the Today show.
48. Star Jones no longer being on The View
49. knowing that my husband will forever keep me from taking life too seriously
50. meals that I don't have to fix

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

I need to call the exterminator back....

apparently we have a pest that he didn't get rid of. Thelizardtamer's husband is in pest control. Having this connection has allowed us to have our house treated the last two years. It has been really effective at keeping the spiders out and the tick population in our yard down. However, last night Miss L informed me that we have a problem. Apparently the exterminators mix doesn't get rid of witches.

"A witch threw me off the house."
"What?" I said.
"A witch had me on top of the house and threw me off on to the concrete in front of the garage."

She explained to us a lot of detail about the witch. Apparently she has black teeth and black ears and black legs and blue arms. Oh yes, she also has orange hair and wears a ball cap with a single ponytail pulled through the opening in the back. "It looks really pretty." Miss L said.

According to Miss L, her and the witch had peanut butter sandwiches up on the roof prior to the incident. She also had tea with fish swimming in the glasses and plants with worms in them. She told her father and me that if we saw the witch that we were to shoot her in the forest or run over her with the car. She also said that the witch has been following her daddy to work every morning in her little car the goes "really fast". Steven said that he had never seen her. Miss L explained that was because he went "super fast" and the witch only went "really fast". She 9the witch) was behind him.

It is amazing that she has no bumps or bruises for being thrown off our roof onto the concrete.

Where does she come up with this stuff?

Monday, September 11, 2006

You will never believe.....

If there is one thing that is certain, it is that we all will one day die. This excludes no one. As a result of this, my job allows interaction with (or at the very least, observance of) all walks of life.
These are a few of the things I have learned since working at a funeral home.

  1. Short overalls with high-heels are appropriate funeral attire.
  2. Bib overalls are appropriate funeral attire.
  3. Smoke breaks taken during the funeral are acceptable.
  4. Big convenient store cups full of your favorite fountain drink seems to be the choice beverage of several funeral attendees. (all from same family)
  5. You never know when you might need your four-wheeler, so having one loaded up in the back of your pickup truck while in the funeral procession is, you guessed it, acceptable.
  6. Since everyone feels the crunch for time, multi-tasking is essential. Hence, the family that beat the hearse to the cemetery and whipped a weed-eater out of the trunk of their car to shape up some of the weeds around the family monuments. Of course, as propriety would demand, the gentleman killed the weed eater in time to walk over, pick up his space at the side of the casket, and continue on as a pall-bearer.
  7. As one grief stricken individual read a poem at his loved ones funeral he stated, "...... and if you are in hell, then I would go right down there and bring you back again." OK, that is a nice thought.
  8. I even get to experience diversity with a co-worker of mine. Yes, you have heard about her before. A few weeks ago she said this to me, and I quote, "If I knew then what I know now about the funerals, I would have just been cremated." Ummm, OK? Need I say more?.....
  9. George Jones, Waylon Jennings, Lynard Skynard, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Guns N Roses....are the choice musical talent showcased at many services. Seriously. There is no discrimination.
  10. Bringing in your favorite snack.....ex: candybar, suckers, and/or chips, go nicely with the big gulp mentioned in #4 and help hold off any hunger pangs that might come during the funeral while waiting for the post-funeral luncheon. ( I told my boss that we could make a million putting in a snack bar. Unfortunately this little snack attack phenomenom is only prevalent in one family. One very large, backwoods family.)
  11. If I had a dollar for the number of people who say, "How do you work there? Doesn't it freak you out?" I could retire now. I tell them that in this day and age, it is the live people that freak me out.
That is all for now......maybe more thoughts as they come.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

So the question is..............

How much money would you have to be shorted before you would call the cashier on it? Two pennies, a nickel, a quarter? Name your price.

For me, probably a nickel....... maybe more. I am not sure.

so sad....

On Monday my sister called me with the sad news.

"Did you hear?" she said.
"Hear what?" I replied.
"The crocodile hunter is dead".

I was so saddened by this. After some soul searching I decided that the "crocodile hunter" brought back feelings to me of a bygone era. When I was a child, Saturday mornings were not necessarily highlighted by cartoons, but rather the "Mutual of Omaha, Wild Kingdom" with Marlin Perkins.

I loved the show, I loved the man. I think that Steve Irwin was the closest thing that this generation had to Marlin Perkins. I was entranced when his show came on and I found that I could still experience the warm fuzzy childhood feelings that a Saturday morning brought with it.

A penny saved is a penny earned......

Twice now, while paying cash for something, I have been owed a penny back-and haven't gotten it. For instance, the bill was $4.99 and I gave them a $5. Both times I was just thanked and the cashier went on about their business. Now I am not such a stickler that I needed the penny back, and I didn't say anything to the cashier.....but I did feel like they could of at least ASKED me if I wanted it. After all, it was MINE.

What has happened to us? Are we so above saving our pennies....? In todays world with debit cards/credit cards/checks/etc have we lost sight of the fact that 100 pennies is what a dollar is made of? It isn't some intangible figure floating around in our checkbook register. Times are a changing.... Pluto no longer a planet.... and eventually the penny will be no more.

I am done sounding pathetic now.... All of this because I wasn't asked if I wanted my penny back.

Friday, September 01, 2006

More of the blahs....

Someone shake me out of this. I can not get motivated to be inspired by ANYTHING. I want to be, but I am just not. Help me! Inspire me! Give me some topic to comment on....write about or at the very least ponder. This is making the post I deleted about going to the gynecologist look like a literary masterpiece.