Monday, September 11, 2006

You will never believe.....

If there is one thing that is certain, it is that we all will one day die. This excludes no one. As a result of this, my job allows interaction with (or at the very least, observance of) all walks of life.
These are a few of the things I have learned since working at a funeral home.

  1. Short overalls with high-heels are appropriate funeral attire.
  2. Bib overalls are appropriate funeral attire.
  3. Smoke breaks taken during the funeral are acceptable.
  4. Big convenient store cups full of your favorite fountain drink seems to be the choice beverage of several funeral attendees. (all from same family)
  5. You never know when you might need your four-wheeler, so having one loaded up in the back of your pickup truck while in the funeral procession is, you guessed it, acceptable.
  6. Since everyone feels the crunch for time, multi-tasking is essential. Hence, the family that beat the hearse to the cemetery and whipped a weed-eater out of the trunk of their car to shape up some of the weeds around the family monuments. Of course, as propriety would demand, the gentleman killed the weed eater in time to walk over, pick up his space at the side of the casket, and continue on as a pall-bearer.
  7. As one grief stricken individual read a poem at his loved ones funeral he stated, "...... and if you are in hell, then I would go right down there and bring you back again." OK, that is a nice thought.
  8. I even get to experience diversity with a co-worker of mine. Yes, you have heard about her before. A few weeks ago she said this to me, and I quote, "If I knew then what I know now about the funerals, I would have just been cremated." Ummm, OK? Need I say more?.....
  9. George Jones, Waylon Jennings, Lynard Skynard, AC/DC, Aerosmith, Guns N Roses....are the choice musical talent showcased at many services. Seriously. There is no discrimination.
  10. Bringing in your favorite snack.....ex: candybar, suckers, and/or chips, go nicely with the big gulp mentioned in #4 and help hold off any hunger pangs that might come during the funeral while waiting for the post-funeral luncheon. ( I told my boss that we could make a million putting in a snack bar. Unfortunately this little snack attack phenomenom is only prevalent in one family. One very large, backwoods family.)
  11. If I had a dollar for the number of people who say, "How do you work there? Doesn't it freak you out?" I could retire now. I tell them that in this day and age, it is the live people that freak me out.
That is all for now......maybe more thoughts as they come.

9 comments:

Becca Boodle said...

Too funny. I wonder if funeral homes in other areas have such a diverse clientele.
As for Chad, I think he is missing out. What a great way to promote our blogs. If we check them enough to show up on the "most viewed" list, then everyone will want to check them out. Think of all the hits we could get from this.

The Sour Kraut said...

It's kind of sad that we're each others only hits.

I stumbled upon MT's (oops, I mean KF's) blog when I was a brand new member (is it called being a member?) It scrolled across the top of blogger.com and I checked it out. I think you guys were headed to DC and talked about what a hottie our president was. I laughed out loud and decided to keep checking your blogs.

The Medium Swede said...

I am fascinated by Funeral homes in a Six Feet Undery kind of way. I have always been terrified of death since I was a kid. Not really of my own, although that could wait a while thank you very much. It is really interesting the way people handle grief.

Our next door neighbor is a funeral director and knows of my fascination. He has invited me several times to embalmings, transporting a body etc... When it gets down to it, I just cannot do it. I am trying to get the nerve up for the next time he asks.

Karen Forest said...

We have a linen company that cleans our sheets, towels and other linens used in the prep. room. They send a guy every week to pick up the soiled laundry. In the 7 years I have worked there we have had two guys, (very big masculine guys at that), that wouldn't go in there. They would come get me and I would go get the stuff for them. I always made fun of them. It sounds like if TMS was our linen guy that I would have to make fun of him too.

Actually, I guess when you are around it every day, the mystery about death wears off. I should be more sympathetic to our linen guys. It is just that soon after I started working there it became very apparent that these people were not something to be afraid of. They are gone. What is left behind is a mere shell. That is it. Only a shell.

The Sour Kraut said...

I agree with you KarenForest. It doesn't really bother me either. The years I worked in Pathology helped me with that.

The Sour Kraut said...

I wouldn't be to fond of being alone there at night, however.

Karen Forest said...

Well, I don't think it would bother me, but I have never had to do it. We have a lady that lives here (the co-worker I speak so often about :)) and it doesn't seem to bother her. If anything I think it is probably one of the safest places to be. I doubt anyone would ever break in, because like you, they also do not want to be here at night.

Karen Forest said...

So, how far is Orlan Park, Il from you guys? We are rec'ing someone from there this week.

Karen Forest said...

from a funeral home there.....