Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Update on "Boo"

One of my first posts centered around my friend, Joy. She was at the time trying to figure out where the previous owner of her house had.....committed suicide.

I never really got into the reason why she wanted to know, so here it is. At certain times, when her husband was out of town, her dog would stand at the top of the stairs and growl into the basement. "Yep...that has to be it", we decided. "He is in the basement." Now I have to say that I have never been 100% sure how I felt about ghosts. I am Catholic...I believe in God.... But I am beginning to believe in ghosts as well. I think.

Joy told me a couple of months ago that while in her laundry room (which has a clear view through the kitchen and dining room) her son, who had just turned 3 years old, asks who the man is in the kitchen? Joy, remaining very calm asks, "What is the man doing?" Obviously, SHE sees no one. Her son stated that he was cooking.

OK, this past week Joy's youngest son (2 yrs old), was playing in his room with his grandma when he kept looking towards the wall. He asked his grandma if "that man" could come play trucks with him. Of course, she sees no one either.

Last week, amid 100+ degree weather, Joys air conditioner stops working. She calls the repair man. When he shows up the first thing he states is "it is kind of weird for me to come here." She asked him what he meant. He explained that he had originally put in the AC, furnace and duct work when the house was built AND his ex wife was the deceased man's cousin.

After he had completed his work, and was about to leave, Joy got up the nerve. "I have to ask you something", she said, "and I mean NO disrespect. Do you know where he did IT?"

"Do you really want to know?" asked the AC guy. "Yes", said Joy, "I really do." So here it comes......"In the master bedroom."

What a STUPID DOG!


Joy if you are reading this....sorry. Also, the dog may not be stupid. Apparently this man travels around the house so maybe he had just moved himself down to the basement since you kept filling up all the spare bedrooms with children. THAT makes sense.

GROSS ME OUT!

There are things that are accepted in society that are not acceptable to me. And I don't think I truly thought about this until last night. It was a fairly normal experience, and it surprised me with the way it directed my thoughts.

My daughter was chewing gum, and when supper was ready, took it out of her mouth and TRIED to hand it to me. I was mortified. "Go put that in the trash can....YUCK!"

So here it goes: I hate chewing gum. Now the actual process of chewing gum isn't that bad....but seeing someone chewing it grosses me out. Also, people who put it on their plate while they are eating....GROSS! I don't want to see it on their plate. I also don't want to see it lying naked in the trash can for all to see. I mean, COME ON, spit it into a tissue or something.

That is my feelings about gum. Is their something that grosses you out, that others find socially acceptable?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

More random thoughts....

  • I can't believe how let down I was by the Supercenter. I thought there would be more hoop-la.
  • Is Kid Rock REALLY that shallow.
  • I hope HE doesn't do any home movies with her....I don't think my heart could take it.
  • I love watching home movies...(not THAT type of home movies).
  • I am really mad at the people who manufactured my portable DVD player. They SUCK.
  • I wonder what stomach cancer feels like.....I think I might have it. Seriously.
  • I can't wait to get home and watch todays episode of Y&R that I taped. Yes. It is my one guilty pleasure.
  • I think I live day to day. After reading Jeff's goals....I am impressed. I think that growing up I wanted: a husband, kids, and a house. Got the husband at age 24. Kids at age 27 & 30. And built our house at age 28. Does this mean I can die now.
  • Must think of new goals or I will probably die. (stomach cancer)
  • How likely is it that we would ACTUALLY experience a black-out?
  • It is only 55 cool degrees in Almont, CO.......Woo Hoo.
  • I haven't heard from my husband in several hours and he is building fence in 100+ degree weather.....Should I be worried? I think so. What do I do? Can't leave work. He isn't answering his phone.....He works alone.... Great. Now I am worried.

Dying a tragic death...

Yes, there has been a death. Death of a dream. Although today was supposed to be a joyous celebration of the Grand Opening of the Wal Mart Supercenter, there is a dark shadow that has been cast across my life. I rec'd the sad news yesterday. Yep, Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson....to be married.

Dear Kid Rock,

Don't you know what she is going to do to you? You are only a pawn in her game that she is playing with Tommy Lee. You are a puppet and she is the puppeteer. The only function you serve is to be the one to make Tommy Lee jealous. Seriously Kid. What do you see in her? I mean, really, a gorgeous blond with big boobs? I don't get it. What about a down to earth farm girl/woman? You were once a farm boy...... Surely you see through all that peroxide and silicone. If ever you change your mind...... you know where to find me.

Love,

Kim
PS. IF you change your mind July 27 - August 3, I will be on vacation. Please check back.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Fall lineup

Is it just me or does the new fall lineup that is being advertised now seem JUST PLAIN WEIRD? I think we have previously established that I am behind times....but come on! The commercials I am seeing for Jericho and Heroes (just to name a few).....I am not getting it. Is science fiction or reality tv our only choices? Call me old school, but I love the sitcom that has complete story resolution in a 30 minute period.

Are we there yet?

Me and the fam are leaving next week for our vacation in Colorado. There is a group of over twenty going, many of which are close friends and family. We are all taking our ATV's (or as our Polaris Ranger is classified, our UV) to ride in the mountains. This alone will be interesting with our 3 year old daughter and (barely) 1 year old son. They ride frequently....just not ALL day.. in mountains. However the most daunting part of our trip will most likely be the over 14 hour drive. I am equipped with our portable DVD player and Dora the Explorer movies...,books, small toys and so on. I think this will keep our 3 year old occupied. I am not so optimistic about "my boy". I am planning on packing the Benadryl to sedate him with if the going gets tough. My husband, who has the ability to tune out ALL fussing, thinks that entertaining them is unneccessary. "They should just enjoy looking out the window". I can see myself making it to Joplin before drinking the bottle of Benadryl myself.

Any ideas and/or suggestions as to items to take or games to play (keep in mind the age group) to make this long trip more pleasant?

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Sagging

Why is it that although I weigh the same as I did in 2000 when I got married, and the same as I did when I got pregnant with child #1 and #2, my body doesn't much resemble it's former self. Yeah, clothes still fit and all that....but my skin is just......loose. Gross isn't it?

I really noticed this tonight. The skin around my chin and the sides of my face is even what I would call "loose enough to be floppy in a strong wind." I am thinking that I would definately jump on the plastic surgery bandwagon if I could afford it. Or maybe Becca could just "throw me under it."

Friday, July 14, 2006

Revelations

Becca and I were recently having a conversation regarding things about our lives, personalities, histories..that we keep private. She didn't know the can of worms she opened. Trust me. Becca is by nature a more guarded person than I am. I have, since as far back as I can remember, been an open book. I think that I figured out that I air out my shortcomings, faults, mistakes, sins .....in an effort to rid myself immediately of people who wouldn't accept the "real me". I figure it would hurt too much to care about someone and then once they realized who I "really am" took off running for the hills.

The earliest example of this behavior, that comes to mind, was back around 1987. I was in the fifth grade. I so badly wanted to fit in. I was playing basketball with some girls and guys.....and Shawn E. said to me.."What the hell is that?" and pointed to the bow in my hair. It seemed pretty obvious to me what it was. I replied, "It is a bow, that is what the hell it is." (I know I am cool....fifth grade cool. NOT! ;)

Fast forward a couple of days. It is now the weekend. I am feeling SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO guilty about saying a cuss word. I am at my aunts house in her bathtub taking a bath and my mom comes in to make sure I am cleaning up....and I, succumbing to the pressure of the guilt, confess to my mom that I said a cuss word....and start bawling.

Now in hindsight, and as a parent now myself, I realize the humor of this. She HAD to have went back into the kitchen and died laughing telling my aunt about me and my cuss word confession. Even in the fifth grade I was nuts. I mean seriously... my parents were not martyrs.... they occasionally cussed, drank....etc. Heck, they gave me my first sip of beer when I was in elementary school. (side note: still hate the stuff, maybe that is why I don't drink it, or much else, to this day....) So why do/did I have such high standards for myself.....I don't think my parents saddled me with expectations... Because I am crazy, that is why! Now, in 2006 the standards are much different. I don't call my mom everytime I cuss... or fail in life, but I still take note, and I still want reassurance of love from those around me.

I guess I keep it real. It sounds good in theory. You know, being totally honest with people about yourself....but where is the mystery....the intrigue. There isn't any. I am who I am....and that can be pretty boring. It would be kind of nice for people not to know EVERYTHING about what made me who I am today. You know, that way, when in conversation with someone I could pull out a trump card and say.."Oh yeah, well one time I did this.........(fill in the blank)...." hence, leaving their mouths agape. But I think it is pretty safe to say "THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN". Where is my sense of adventure....and fun?

Soooooooooooooooooo, In the spirit of fun and adventure, I now open the forum...."Ask me whatever you want. I am an open book."

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Amber Alert


I would like to put out an Amber Alert for Chuck E. Cheese. After visiting his fine establishment yesterday with my kids I realized that he is indeed missing. We were there for 2 hours. During this time he never made an appearance.....not ONCE! All we saw was the robotic Chuck E. in the band......

Come on....what happened to the days when the big mouse would come out and parade around with the kids? Is that now just a bygone era? Is it just a treat reserved for birthdays? Has OSHA deemed the mouse suit too dangerous? Is having a mouse in the restaurant some health/safety violation?

What is this world coming to?

Monday, July 10, 2006

Leave me alone...

Dear nachos, pizza, oreos, ice cream, chocolate, cheese, butter and potatoes,

Please leave me alone! Don't you know I am on a diet....kinda. Seriously. Enough already. I know deep down you love me as I love you....but we are NO good for each other. Anyone can see it. We bring out the worst in each other.

Still love you,

me

I am not mad...Will you still come see me occasionally?

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Mysteries...

I was thinking today about my weekend. My long lost pal, who is going through a divorce, brought over some movies for us to watch during our "down time". It was during this time that it really hit me....."I AM OLD". Now, don't tsk, tsk, me..... The "old" I am referring to has more to do with my mentality, than it does age.

I did watch "Meet the Parents" a few years ago. I thought it was pretty funny, not the best movie I had seen, but pretty funny. So I was hyped to watch "Meet the Faulkers". I know, I know. And yes, we have been living under a rock. I have already been repremanded for not seeing it any sooner. However, after watching it I am glad I didn't knock myself out to see it. I viewed it as only mediocre. On to the next movie.......Napolean Dynamite.

I know this was somewhat of a sensation....but I guess I just missed it. I was bored to absolute tears....TEARS. I would have rather been doing laundry, mopping floors, (insert chore here), ANYTHING!!!!!! I couldn't stand this movie. In fact, it now tops my "Movies I hate the most" list, followed closely by "40 year old virgin". How do people enjoy these movies?

On to my next mystery. ...

I am a good girl, or rather good woman. I always have been. I liked the good guys...I played by the rules... Strived to make my parents proud....worked hard in school....made good grades... blah, blah, blah.....

So now, at 30, why do I have this unnatural obsession with Kid Rock? I mean...obsession. I love him....all of him. His nasty, greasy hair, his potty-mouth, nasty clothes and even his rap....ME like rap......what is happening here? If given a chance, (and didn't have kids) I would become a Kid Rock groupie..... Seriously. In fact, if he propositioned me today....I would probably accept.

And...I almost forgot. Johnny Depp. Now I know you are thinking that ALOT of women obsess about Johnny Depp, but you see, it isn't actually Johnny I obsess about.....but a character of his..... that's right. Capt. Jack Sparrow. I love him, all the matted hair, eyeliner, swaggering...everything. Soooooo Sexy....

How did I, end up married to a straight laced country boy.....???? It's a mystery. My guess is that there is a wild woman in me begging to get out....

Monday, July 03, 2006

Days of my life.......

  1. I rode a tractor over to my parents house with my husband and two kids....nope, no cab on this tractor. On the way we passed a truck with a calf tied in the bed of it. I felt like a page out of Rural America.
  2. Husband broke, for the second time, my dad's brush hog....totally playing into their idea of him being "haphazard", which by definition, is characterized by lack of plan, order, or direction. I would think this, at times, is a pretty fair assessment of my husband. Maybe not in this particular instance........but......
  3. Cleaned the house as well as the garage. As if this wasn't enough cleaning, my husband brought up the camping trailer to get ready for our first outing of 2006.
  4. Cleaned the camper......sweeping up mouse poop from the vacant drawers.......lysoling, bleaching, dusting....etc.
  5. While cleaning out camper, lifted up the bed support to sweep out the insulation below...just in case.... FOUND A FREAKING SNAKE SKIN!!!!!!!
  6. Left the camper screaming and exclaiming that I would not sleep in that camper EVER until a thorough....and I mean, thorough de-snaking had taken place.
  7. Got ready for a redneck college graduation party at B. Spring, complete with a monster truck, load of fireworks. Yes, monster truck.
  8. Was thrown out of, or rather, asked to leave, a local convenient store after having words with cashier about her..................... lack of professionalism. What can I say, I am bad.
  9. Went to church with Thelma Lou off of Mayberry.
  10. Went to a Fourth of July rodeo celebration, where I ran into a former classmate.
  11. Ran into a good friend from Florida on a lunch date conspiracy set into motion by my very own mother.......It was a nice surprise. Didn't even know he was in my neck of the woods.

And the holiday isn't even here yet....................I wonder what is to come?