Wednesday, June 24, 2009

As natural as me wrestling an alligator

So, tonight I went to work out.

Yeah, I'm an athlete, and I haven't lost a pound. Am I supposed to be eating less or something???

As I was working out I noticed a couple of new people.

These people, three girls and a boy, didn't look like everyone else.

Although I was trying not to stare, it was hard not to notice girls in long denim skirts and a guy in jeans and a collared shirt, at a gym in temps high enough to have a heat advisory issued.

The girls were not working out. The boy was.......well....actually, I am not really sure what he was doing. Picture Napolean Dynamite - with shorter hair.

Maybe he was trying to work out. To be honest, I am not really sure. You see, the first time I caught myself staring was when he picked up a weight that was obviously intended to be used with both hands - hence the three foot long handle. He took one hand and picked up an end and then put his other hand around his back and tried to grasp (unsuccessfully) the other end. It looked like an accident waiting to happen.

As I continued on the elliptical, what started out as an "accident waiting to happen", turned into a ten car pile up, so to speak.

He moved on over to a bar -not really sure of its correct name, but meant to be used for chin-ups - and reached up and began doing cherry drops. You know what I mean. I think we all used to do them on the monkey bars at the playground IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!

I kept on working up a sweat, probably because the entertainment was getting so good.

After apparently achieving enough of a head rush with the cherry drops, he moved on over to the speed bag and started punching. Folks, it was not a scene from "Rocky". In fact, it was completely awkward. And let me tell you, for me, Kim, while on an elliptical machine, to call anyone else "awkward", well, it had to be bad.

I think his frustration was rising and he began just punching wildly, but with more force. The next thing I knew the speed bag went flying through the air. What happened immediately after that, I honestly can't say. That would be because in an effort to hide the fact that I was laughing, I had to tuck my chin to my chest and try to "become one" with my workout.

When I found the composure - and confidence - to look up again, I found that he had reattached the speed bag and was going at it again, this time with weights gripped tightly in his hands.

Again, I am not sure if he felt the problem before had something to do with lack of equipment or I guess more specifically, weights. But I am pretty sure that it had more to do with form.

Actually make that 100% sure. All doubt was erased when, with weights in hand -no less-, he began taking his fierce frustration out, again, on the speed bag, to only, this time, have it come back and hit him in the face. It was his glasses that, this time, went flying across the gym.

This time I kept a perfectly straight face - only because I was sure that I had been busted laughing before.

However, when he walked towards me and jumped three foot high and cleared a piece of weight lifting equipment did I search the room for another set of eyes that mirrored my own incredulation. Unfortunately no one else made eye contact.

My guess is that it was on purpose.

The three girls, who had been just randomly walking in and out of the gym area, occasionally cheering him on, came out of no where and rounded him up and apparently told him they were ready to leave.

And so he left.

And, since my entertainment was gone, so did I.


Marlana said...

It was probably one of my relatives and look at how you made fun of him. Geez! We can't go anywhere. ;)

N. said...

Hi Kim. Thanks for your comment. Shoot me your e-mail address and I'll give you the St. Louis lowdown. You gotta stay more than one day to take in a couple of things!!!

Mama Goose said...

Perhaps they were filming candid camera? How bizarre! By the way, laughter is really good exercise!!

~*Michelle*~ said...

oh how gave a great visual and I found myself laughing out loud!

I really enjoy your style, Kim. I would love to be your workout buddy, then again...we might end up getting hurt from laughing while on machines (I am barely sing with my iPod and run at the same time)

....or worse yet, getting thrown out. LOL