It is. Really.
This is also my dad's account of a lot of people. He is always saying, "It is just their nature." This is his way of reminding me that not all people fit into the one-size fits all mold that I sometimes get tricked into thinking they belong.
I am (by nature) someone who follows the rules. Someone who does what the majority believes I should. Someone who wants to please everyone. When I see someone who is not like me, sometimes I become frustrated.
When I look at my thoughts that I have just now put into words, it all looks a little arrogant. Surprisingly, this isn't at all how I see myself, or how I want others to see me...... I need to work on this.
It is, also, my nature to be a worrier. I come by this trait honestly. I come from a very long line of worriers on both the maternal and paternal side of my family. I am also married to someone who does not worry. It isn't HIS nature.
There are times this is a curse. Others it is a cure.
Right now.... I am not sure which one he is.
My husband has a thirst for land. More specifically a piece of land that joins our current acreage. This piece is essentially land locked and he has always wanted to buy it, should it come up for sale. It did, in November.
I, of course, held up my end of being the worrier (and pessimist) and listed a million (and one) reasons why we (he) shouldn't buy it. Luckily, for me, the price that was shot to Steven was more than he was wiling to give. This caused me to let out a huge sigh of relief.
It was, however, a very short sigh.
The current landowner has now lowered his price significantly and offered it to Steven again. This time, he really wants to bite. Again, I have a million (and two) reasons why he shouldn't. The catcher this time is that there is another landowner interested. We (He) is either going to have to act now, or forever hold his piece.
He just now called and wants my opinion. This, folks, is a trap. Truly, he doesn't want my opinion. And he isn't being mean, he is just being positive. I will list a million (and three) reasons why we shouldn't do this....some real, some imagined. It is just my nature. I like security and consistency...... Two things I feel like this isn't. I mean, come on, we are in the middle of a recession, right? There are so many unknowns. Being the positive one, he believes we will make it work. Being the hard worker he is, he knows we will make it work.
So, as part of my "working on positivity" workshop, I held my tongue. I said what every man wants to hear.
"Whatever you want......" "I trust you will make the right decision. Just let me know what it is."
Aren't I a good wife? (Who, by the way, is now having chest pains........) I just need to have faith, right? In him and in God.
Oh! Isn't giving up control hard?