Monday, April 23, 2007

Because she said so

God visited my Grandma yesterday. She told me this, and I believe her.

My Grandma is 88 years old. She has always been in excellent health. Let me tell you, this lady is a worker. She and my grandfather, worked their whole lives. Sometimes they would both work on their farm, and sometimes one of them would find work in town. Whatever it took. Together they had six children, my father being the next to youngest. All six children were raised with the same work ethic. Faith, family and hard work are the "things" that would get you through life. This principal belief allowed them to run and sustain this family farm up to the present day.

My grandpa passed away in 1998. March 30th to be exact.

Since that date there has been an almost tangible absence at my grandma's house. Even when we are all gathered together, 12 aunts and uncles, 10 grandchildren and their spouses, and 17 great-grandchildren - all crammed together in their tiny house - using the floor to sit down because their aren't enough chairs..... there is still an absence and a void.

My grandma would never voice her loneliness. It seems as if people from that generation aren't great at expressing emotion.... The words "I love you" are seldom said.......BUT always shown. There is no prying into anyone's business. There was always acceptance. Even if she didn't necessarily agree with someone, or their beliefs, she accepted them and loved them.

We always knew the loneliness was there. She replaced their full size bed with a twin bed only weeks after he died. She just recently told me that one night she reached over to make sure Grandpa was doing alright.....and was awakened with the realization that he wasn't there- and never would be. Not ever wanting to experience that again, she went the next day and got a different bed.......

Unfortunately, the past couple of years have proved to be a bit harder for Grandma. She has been plagued with a persistent cough that seems to elude every doctor. This is no dry, hacking cough. This is a crippling cough that the sheer force of it, combined with the embarrassment she feels when a "spell" hits in front of others, keeps her at home.

On days when she feels better, she heads outdoors and in the spring and summer, hangs out her laundry, in the fall picks up walnuts and rakes the leaves........Wanting to be as independent as possible. However, after last months visit to the circus she has progressively declined. There haven't been any good days.

Of course, she wouldn't say that. She maintains that she is alright. Just not as good as she would like.

The rest of us, seem to understand. Weight loss, no appetite, loss of memory... I mean, it is the natural progression of things. She is 88.

Of course, no one wants to voice it.

Yesterday, hubby, the kids, and I, rode the tractor over to her house to bring back some panels. We went in to see her and she had just finished a breathing treatment and was ready for company.

As we sat there talking, my Grandma told me that a while back she lost her wedding ring. She wore two on her finger - a wide band, and a smaller band. As she started losing weight, she told me that she realized that she should've taken them off. Everyday that she wore them she was taking a risk. But she didn't want to remove them. A few weeks ago the dreaded happened. The ring was gone, leaving an absence on her finger more obvious, to the casual observer, than the one in her heart.

However, yesterday, as she got up from "her chair" she happened to look in between her feet. There on a throw rug was her ring.

She was amazed.....and I don't think the word amazed does it justice. She told me how she had scoured the house....shook out the rugs, looked everywhere that she knew to look and it was no where to be found.

There was no logical explanation of how that ring got there. But like the love that is not spoken of, but is shown and deeply felt in your soul, the same feeling was felt in hers. She knew exactly how the ring got there.

"Somebody put that ring there. God meant for me to have it back and He put it there. I know it. I shook out that rug and have repositioned it numerous times....... God meant for me to have it back."

I agreed. It seemed so obvious to me. I could feel it.

Later that afternoon more of my aunts and uncles showed up along with my parents. I heard her recount the story of the lost ring. My uncles of course, being the men that they are, stated that it had to have been there the whole time, or possibly it fell out of the chair onto the rug......or was kicked onto the rug. It had to be explained....

Grandma just listened....but I could tell she wasn't convinced. Neither was I.

If my grandma thought that the hand of God had placed that ring there for her to find....that is good enough for me. I believe it too.

5 comments:

Oh, The Joys said...

I believe her!

The Sour Kraut said...

I believe her too. It's just too obvious. I keep hoping I too will find my wedding ring like that someday. That's a post I'll write someday, about my lost ring.

I'm so glad you're back to writing. You posts are so inspiring and enjoyable.

Anonymous said...

Aka The Lizard Tamer

I believe her. Ask me about my dimes sometime, Jon even believes now too.

jen said...

oh, me too.

me too.

Anonymous said...

anonymous= Sister Sharn

I definitely believe grandma, and of course the men in our family have to come up with some logical reason as to why it is impossible. “Faith”