My sister called me to tell me that she is really wanting me to post something. After all, she said, it has been forever. So being one not to disappoint, here goes. Sarah, I hope you like it. :)
This year I have made a sort of unofficial resolution: Start doing things for yourself and discover who you are as a person.
Sounds relatively easy, huh? You would think so.
I read a post of TSK's that enlightened me as to how out of touch with myself I am. The post was "what you wanted to do in your lifetime"-and it couldn't be anything for, or to do with, your family.
Being someone who always wants to reply.....I was like, OK....I can do this..... AND THEN NOTHING! That is right, nothing. I couldn't think of a thing. Finally I put something about accepting, and coming to terms with me. The whole package, the whole kit-n-kaboodle. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
So I sought counsel. I told a good friend of mine that I was concerned that I really, as an individual, was boring. NO PERSONALITY. Whatsoever. If I wasn't taking care of my husband and children......well, I wouldn't have a clue as to what I wanted to do with my life or my time. In her wise way.....she suggested porn. Yep. Porn. She said it would loosen me up a little. (Did I mention I have nuts for friends..?)
As the new year rolled in I began thinking more and more about this. What do I like? What do I enjoy? I began making this my new quest. To figure myself out. To be less concerned with what others think. To live life for me.
This will take baby steps, and my first baby step was taken on Tuesday.
Last year, Becca blogged about women and their inherent desire to take clothes off in the presence of a camera, any type of camera: video, digital....you name it. She claimed that it is just born into us to do this. A survival instinct of sorts.
I replied that I apparently had been skipped over and did not carry that trait carried by the female species. I didn't want to see my naked image and I didn't presume anyone else would want to either.
Becca thought that it was a jab at her....and quickly removed the post.
Although it wasn't a jab at her, it did make me acutely aware of how prude/naive I really was/am. Is this something a person can overcome? Or something they should want to?
So with determination in my......um.....eyes I made up my mind to take a giant leap away from the person I had always been. Do something out of character....and pull a little from both friends.
Camera phone in hand, I stripped down, sucked in, lifted up, struck a pose and captured my mirrored image in all of its glory. Granted, I had all "important areas" strategically covered.
Of course, the first shot would not do. I began sounding like someone directing a professional photo shoot:
Suck in......more....more...more....right there! Now lift and turn.....put your weight on your hind leg....tilt your head! That's it! Work it, work it....work it!
After several tries I found one I thought would "work" and before I could back out, I entered my husband's number and sent it off into the cellular world to his phone.
I dressed myself, returned to the world of mommy, and waited for my husband to call.
I was a little apprehensive. I mean, of course my husband had seen me naked before, but to capture a still image to be looked at.....and scrutinized.....was very scary for me. I am not a modest person, however, I am a moving person. Remember the saying about a moving target.... In real life moving makes it hard to tell whether the jiggle was from the wiggle......or not. A digital image DOES NOT move. (so scary........deep breath......)
Five hours later I still had not heard from him. Talk about let down.
Once he arrived home I pounded him with questions.
Did you get my message? Did you see it? What did you think?
He had no idea what I was talking about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I later checked my phone to see what the problem was. That was on Tuesday. It said then what it says now, 3 days later....."waiting for report".
GREAT! A report! I finally get up my nerve to do something crazy, and now I am going to get a report! A report that has taken over three days to generate!
My question is: Will it be like a report card.... (C-) or more comprehensive.....(nice ___....however, a little too much sag..... could use a little work on the hips and thighs....)?????? Maybe time will tell.
Can't wait to see what the people at Alltel think.