Friday, February 10, 2006

The sound of silence

Am I psychic or what? I totally predicted the storm in my life that hit about 2:30 yesterday afternoon. Thankfully it seems to have passed without too much wreckage to clean up. Nothing that a little silent treatment won't cure. Now....on to other things.....

My friend, Joy, the ghost whisperer, never fails to keep me on my toes with what I referred to as her undercurrent of activity. I do believe that last night her undercurrent turned into a full blown tsunami. Her predicament is this......She has been on a search for her husband's biological mother....and father. In this search she has found herself locating his mother, but coming up short on how to actually come out and say "My husband is your long lost son." Due to an unfortunate encounter with a possible relative of the birth mother while trying to locate her, there has been an assumed belief that she indeed does know that Joy and her family exists and wishes to have no contact. What they are looking for, however, is not assumptions, but fact. This alone has led Joy to contact this woman by restricted mail. At best, we figured that his mother would receive this letter....maybe Wed or Thursday.....but that leaves a lot riding on the USPS... So as you can imagine, I was blown away when last evening I received a frantic call, from Joy, stating that while wrestling two kids, watching TV and everything else that goes on during a normal evening at home, she heard the phone ringing. Digging for the phone between the couch cushions, she wasn't alarmed when she was too late and the phone diverted the call to voice mail....until she looked at the caller ID. YES! It was his mother! No message left.....

Her voice reached me over the phone with a tinge of hysterics...."what do I do?". I could tell she was outside smoking...(she must be stressed!)....and I, all knowing of course, say...."Call her back." It seemed so obvious to me. She adamantly declined saying...."I am not that way, I only call people back when they leave messages and she didn't leave a message..."

She had come to the conclusion that because of the swift response from this woman, the news could only be bad. "You know, it is like when the jury comes back with a verdict after only 15 minutes of deliberating......it is either really good, or really bad." She had decided that it was really bad. "Call her back".......I keep demanding......everytime being met with a firm "No". We eventually ended the conversation with her stating that if she called this soon after contact, then she would call again.

After some time passed and I really thought about the situation, I became introspective about what I would do if in their shoes. It is often times so easy to say, "I would do (fill in the blank)". But the question is, would I really? Our lives are plagued by so many variables and happen stances. Often times if one tiny variable, or reaction to a variable, was changed, the outcome of not only the present situation, but hundreds more down the line, would be altered. And probably all without our knowledge.

OK, it is getting a little too deep in here for me. (Sorry Becca and Chad, I went a little DS on you) Maybe I should now begin the silent treatment I was speaking of earlier...................


UPDATE......I just spoke with Joy. Last night, she was mistaken, she DID leave a voice mail. She DOES want contact. She had no knowledge of his desire for a relationship prior to their letter. I guess life isn't as complicated as we can make it out to be.....OR maybe it is. Now.......silence.

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