Two totally DIFFERENT personalities.
L is so much like her father. There is no denying it. Steven even shakes his head sometimes because the words (he would call it wisdom) that comes out of her mouth is undeniably his.
"The world according to Steven (and L)."
She sees life as a journey...not a destination. She is laid back and would try anything once. She has an onery streak that she tries to hide.
Did I mention she would try anything once?
Yeah....I have a long road ahead of me.
B, on the other hand is undeniably mine.
He is cautious. He worries. He thinks about the long term.
Lately his current worry is about "poisonous ivy".
I don't know why....he has never had "poisonous ivy".
I am not even sure where he heard of it.
He asks, "Is that poisonous ivy? Is this? Is there poisonous ivy in our yard? The woods?"
He is consumed with worry about "poisonous ivy".
Oh yeah... This child? He's mine.
I don't worry about "poisonous ivy", but I have worried (might I add, needlessly) about numerous other things that didn't amount to much. In God's eyes, probably the equivalent to B's worry about "poisonous ivy".
Oh, the time I have lost to needless worry.
I hate to think of the time that B is losing as well. Time that should be carefree and fun.
He knows he is different, and at times, really doesn't want to be. He WANTS to fit in.
(Did I mention that I have a long road ahead of me?)
(Did I mention that he is MY child?)
We try to be the best parents we can and in the meantime, we encourage him....we inform him...and YES, we have laughed
It is hard not to.
Let me give you the back story on this picture.
A week ago we were putting up our swimming pool. The kids were getting anxious for it to fill up. L decided that it was hot and she wanted to swim. So, she left the yard and went over to our cattle pen and stripped off her clothes. The next thing I knew she was sitting in the stock tank with the goldfish, dipping out the leaves and gunk that had acquired through out the year.
Steven and I laughed, amused. B didn't want to not get the laughs so he immediately stripped off and headed for the tank.
He got ready to dip his toe in and then said, "I don't think I can."
He looked at me and said, earnestly, "Is it safe?"
I assured him that it was and he started back towards it.
He stuck his leg in a little further and pulled it back out.
"I don't think I can do it."
"B", I said, "if you don't want to, you don't have to. It isn't a big deal. But know this...I am your momma and I would never tell you something was safe if it wasn't. I am right here. There is nothing in there that will hurt you...it is dirty, but it isn't dangerous. I wouldn't lie to you. I love you more than anything."
This temporarily strengthened his resolve.
He put both legs in the water and perched on the edge. "Take a picture momma..."
"B", I said, "I can't take a picture of you like that....you are naked and I can see your...uh... stuff...."
He peered in.
"Are the fish poisonous?"
"B, they are GOLDFISH....... No. They are not poisonous."
"Oh yeah! They're NOT green!"
(Steven and I looked at each other and laughed, bemused at the fact that, in B's mind, it was apparently common knowledge that all poisonous fish are obviously green- and over the fact that his confidence was so easily shaken.)
"Why are you laughing? Are they poisonous? Are you jokin' me?"
I assured him that I wasn't 'jokin' him' and that goldfish weren't poisonous and I could see the wheels turning.
He swiftly lowered himself further into the water and posed and then told me to "take a picture".
The camera had no more than "clicked" before he quickly jumped back out.
You can almost see the white in his knuckles as a symbol of his determination to stay in .......long enough. The smile on his face firmly in place hiding the mental turmoil that I know he was experiencing.
You know, I think God also laughs at us..... Much like Steven and I laughing at B. I think God also shakes His head and laughs. Laughs about our wavering resolve. Laughs about the illusion of control that we constantly try to obtain. Laughs about how easily we are shaken and our worry about needless things.
He is control of those things, you know. All things. Silly things. Important things. Trivial things. EVERYthing.
I don't know about you, but I think He has a long road ahead of Him.
I for one am glad that He has all the patience in the world.
(And then some.)