Thursday, March 11, 2010

Just another picture to burn

Well, I am a little behind.

I weighed on Tuesday but am only now logging in to journal it.

Yes, it was that (un) exciting.

This week I lost a whopping .8 lbs.

What gives?

I am trying to remain focused on the long term goal and forget about small losses like this week. I am a little concerned that I will not meet my first goal which requires me to lose 7 more lbs by April 2nd.

You see, last year at the end of April, I hit the maximum level of dissatisfaction with myself. I had surprised L for her birthday with a trip to a Taylor Swift concert. The weekend was perfect and as we returned home to Steven and B, we uploaded the pictures to the computer and I remember watching them play as a slide show and simultaneously wanting to cry and feeling like someone had punched me in the gut.

Yes, it took until February of this year to do something about it.

All sorts of things come into play here: denial, depressions, spite.

But in February I decided that I was tired of being the ugliest, fattest and loudest person in the room.

I don't see the ugliest/loudest thing changing, so I will focus on the fattest.

Yes. I am deep like that.

Now, this April, in fact, April 2, I am surprising L again, with another Taylor Swift concert for her birthday. Again, she has no clue. Considering she still recaps to her friends that going to the concert was the best day of her life, I figured that if a person could repeat their best day-or in our case, weekend.....why not?

What I am trying not to repeat is the sinking, depressed feeling that I had when I got home and took a good look at myself.

So, for now, I will try not to focus on the .8 lbs lost this week and, instead, focus on the 12.8 lbs that are gone.

Hopefully this year the good memories won't be overshadowed by bad pictures.

1 comment:

The Next Phase said...

You have lost almost 13 lbs!!! That is an amazing should definitely be focusing on that. I won't be meeting my goal of 30lbs lost by Spring Break but I am focusing on the fact that I have lost 25 lbs. Neither one of us have anything to be down about. You have lost half as much as I have and you've been doing it for half the amount of are on your way to your goal!