Saturday, September 27, 2014

Looking forward

The last few days have been uneventful in details surrounding Steven's treatment.  We are at a standstill at this point, waiting for his cell count to rebound.  His white blood cells are coming up and he will receive blood tomorrow to help jumpstart his red blood cells.  He is running a slight fever, 99.9, and has a small headache. 

I pray that both of these are gone by the morning.  Please pray that too.


During the course of his treatment, Steven had been restricted to his room.  If he wore a mask, he was allowed to walk around a small portion of the 7th floor.  He had started being discouraged about the fact that "nothing ever changes" in the scenery outside the few windows he would pass by.  Last Saturday morning, the kids and I decided we were going to change all that.  I woke early and made a sign and then had them add their own touches to it.  My plan was to prop it up against a construction trailer outside in the parking lot that was viewable from a 7th floor window.  

However, last Saturday morning, after the kids worked on their project, it became apparent that Blake wasn't feeling well and couldn't come to the hospital to see his dad.  We decided that we would wait until we could all be there to celebrate the "change in scenery".

This past Thursday, Sarah brought the kids up.  I met them outside and she volunteered to be the sign holder.  She stood outside in the parking lot while the three of us rushed up to greet daddy in the hall. 
The kids asked if he noticed anything different in the "scenery".  It took him a second, but when he noticed, an "aawwww" escaped his lips before he enveloped the kids in a hug.

After he saw it, I raced down and took the sign from Sarah and brought it back and decorated his room with it.

Apparently, this change in scenery was a good omen, or a good sign (Cough, cough. Excuse the bad pun.) and not long after returning to his room we found that Steven had been given permission to leave the 7th floor and could even go outside in the hospital commons area.  

The mask he was required to wear was the only outward sign of his illness.  The kids were so happy to see him in his element:  the outdoors.


We had to return to his room to meet a Child Life Specialist that was coming to talk to the kids.  Lakyn admitted she was a little nervous about it.  She has shied away from anything that prevented her from believing everything is fine and I think she was afraid of what the specialist might tell her.

However, the meeting was off to a good start when she showed up bringing gifts.  The kids hit it off with her and she showed them a doll with a port, like their daddy's, and explained about the medicine and some of the changes they could expect to see in Steven.  They were already pretty knowledgeable, probably because any information Steven and I receive, we pass on to them, but the CLS was able to put them more at ease.  

I was glad to see them interacting with her and asking questions, and sometimes, as kids do, showing off what they already knew.


Earlier in the evening I had taken some pictures of the kids doing their homework in the hospital room.  

At home, I was always taking pictures, but since Steven's diagnosis, that had all but stopped.  I guess I thought that I would just put our life "on hold".  However, recently, when going through potential timelines of his treatment in my head, I realized that many monumental moments, including holidays, will happen, whether or not we are in or out of the hospital.  Life could not be put "on hold", so I might as well document it. Embrace it.

However, Lakyn didn't like me taking her picture and told me, "Don't take a picture of this. I don't EVER want to remember this time!"

I told her that I understood that, but, unfortunately, we will never be able to forget this time-with or without pictures.

I also told her that one day, we will look back on these pictures and see how far we've come.

I pray that this is the truth.  Please pray that too.

I also pray that we will get to a time where fear doesn't cloud our vision, and we are able to look back and see all the blessings we've received.

Please pray this too. 

I firmly believe it is your prayers that is getting our family through this. 
We need them.
Please keep them coming.


Manda said...


Marlana said...

I'm sure Steven loved the change of scenery. That was so sweet of you guys to make him a sign that stood out to him. I know it has to be hard for the kids to want to wish away Steven's cancer and not have to remember it or think of it in the terms they have to right now, but it's nice to see them being as normal as they can despite all you guys are going through. We still have you in our prayers daily and we pray for you and your family each week at our Tuesday morning prayer group at school.