Thursday, February 10, 2011

I would like to buy a vowel

I think that I have mentioned here before my husband's dislike of technology. He claims that it is the "downfall of society". Actually he initially said this in reference to video games and I believe that he has since expanded and now allows facebook and texting to share in the blame.

He thinks it terms of basics.

Necessities.

Dukes of Hazzard.

Comprende'?

(No, he isn't bilingual.)

Anyway, out of the blue, on Monday, my husband started texting.

(He can barely write with a pen and paper!)

It appears that he has decided to incorporate the facebook trend into texts.

Let me explain.

He doesn't use a computer, therefore isn't on facebook. He does, however, seem to have mastered the random, one line facebook status updates.

And he sends them as texts.

Texts that generally make fun of me, and people like me, who get wrapped up in all the "societal downfall".

Some recent texts my very country, talk radio listening, work with his hands, can barely use a phone, cowboy husband has sent:

  • I ripped my Crystal Gayle t-shirt.
  • Yay! I started my period.
  • I guess I'm not pregnant.
  • I hate that 4 Fergie. (He thought Fergie messed up on the National Anthem at the Superbowl. He is in touch, people.)
  • 8 pts left (referencing weight watchers)
  • I would die without facebook. (which he isn't even on)
  • I just downloaded some Elton John (he doesn't own an iPod and suffice it to say that Elton isn't on talk radio or a classic country station)
  • Brokeback Mountain-LOVED IT! (...yeah...he's never seen it)
  • Waiting on BB2 (Brokeback 2. Ahem)
  • Can't believe what 50 cent named his dog

And then he started leaving out random vowels and an occasional consonant.

  • Ct scrtch fvr
  • I lv m n m (I asked. He DOES know how to actually spell Eminem)
  • Fat btm grls make rakn wrld go rnd
  • Jef Bird is so funy (Oh. Yes. He. Did. Jeff!)
  • Fbr br 4 me 4 spr ("Fiber bar for me for supper" -guess he was low on pts)
  • Lv u lots shak n bak (Aww.....that is the most romantic thing he has ever "said" to me!)

I have the best husband ever.

Hands down the oddest, but definitely the best.

He makes me laugh every day!

And laugh out loud with each incoming text.

5 comments:

Marlana said...

He is stinkin' hilarious! That is so funny! This is what makes you guys such a great couple! He's doing a great job by the way. Actually, his texts beat most of the ignorant status updates I read on a daily basis. I seriously don't know why I care about reading them, but for some reason, I still do. :)

Misti said...

Seriously laughing out loud here & trying not to wake hubby. So funny!

Amy said...

I LOVE the Ricky Bobby messages he left you. I sure hope he didn't rip is Crystal Gayle t-shirt. LOL!! Kim - seriously, your husband cracks me up!

Manda said...

still waiting for his number.....LOL!

Anonymous said...

This is awesome!

Jef Bird (just glad I got to keep my vowels, heck he even added one!)