Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I might as well be writing about radioactive spiders and kryptonite.

As I walked into Wal-Mart, my phone rang.

Hello?

It was my friend, Andrea, telling me how she had finished another Janet Evanovich book....

I had turned her onto the Stephanie Plum series a few weeks prior. She was hooked.

We chatted awhile and she said, "Did you get it?"

"No."

"Where are you?"

"Wal-Mart."

"Get it now!"

Having always been the type that follows and doesn't 'rock the boat', I knew that I had to. I only wish I would have been prepared.

You see, I needed a disguise. Hat. Sunglasses. The whole works.

Maybe even the glasses with the nose and mustache attached.

I casually sauntered over to the shelf and retrieved the item, glancing around to see if anyone had noticed. Making a b-line for the register I was relieved when I arrived without interruption, unloaded my stuff onto the conveyor, and casually made conversation with the checkout girl.

As she began to scan the item that I had diligently covered up with other merchandise, the tiny, little pre-teen girl in line behind me let out a squeal and exclaimed....."TWILIGHT! I love that book!"

Great.

I was outed. I didn't even want to buy the stupid book. Why did I have to agree to read it if Andrea would read the books I suggested?

I tried to conjure up a little bit of pride and while walking backwards explained away my purchase before turning and darting out the door.

Okay, maybe it didn't happen quite like that. But close. Really close.

***************

I couldn't believe I was going to read a book about Vampires. I mean, come on. I like stories I can relate to. I am not into the supernatural. I don't watch Star Wars.... never liked scary movies with monsters. I want my entertainment to be real.....possible.....

I made my way back to work and since the afternoon was a slow one, I decided that I would go ahead and get it over with.

I opened the book.

I read for two hours straight at work. Left. Picked up the kids from daycare. Came home...read while peeing on the toilet. Got ready to go Branson to see the Christmas lights and then read, by light of my cell phone, all the way to Branson as Steven shook his head beside me.

And then again on the way back home.

I woke up the next morning and read for an hour and a half.....and finished the book.

Like an addict needing his next hit, I couldn't get to Wal-Mart fast enough to purchase the sequel, "New Moon".

I was entrenched in the story, I was in love with the characters and I was as sexually frustrated as a 32 year old woman could be. (Steven later took care of that....ahem....)

Suffice it to say that I read all four books in a weeks time.

I could not, and still can't, believe that young kids are reading these books.

Was I the only one affected in this way? Has some sort of twisted desire been deprived for too long?

You will just have to trust me, but I don't think so.

In February a group of 15 friends went to see the movie.


I found that I was definitely NOT alone. In fact, have yet to meet someone who has read the book that didn't find themselves drawn in.

That alone helps some of the shame fade away yet I still find myself apologizing that I would read such a book.

You know, kind of how a addict knows that what he is doing is wrong.

We He I just can't help it.



I am getting my next hit on Saturday.


1 comment:

Manda said...

kim kim kim kim kim.....you are not the only one with this obsession, but im not one of them..LOL. i am, however, taking callie and her friends to see it on monday..i will be in the parking lot during the movie with my sarah palin book..LOL!