Monday, August 03, 2009

Save money. Live Better. Love Hurts.

Dear Wal-Mart,

I recently heard on a commercial that I could do all of my "Back to School" - school supply shopping -for under $9.00 at your store. This, however, is a gross misrepresentation of the truth. That is unless, you were "Back to Traffic School" or "Back to Beauty School" shopping. If this were the case, I am sure that if that I could pick up several bottles of "Love My Nails" polish and a bottle or two of Aqua Net and still come out under the $9.00 level.

However, if we were to assume that you mean "Back to School of the Primary Education" variety, then I feel that the $9.00 is not going to even begin to cover the assortment of folders, paper, highlighters, pencils, markers, binders, Kleenex's, wet ones and composition notebooks that every first grader in this great nation finds themselves in need of every August.

(Don't even get me started on the paper plates, trash bags with drawstrings and ziplock bags that are required by the preschool....)

If you don't mind to alter your commercials accordingly, I would appreciate it. Something along the lines of "$9.00 and your first born" would suffice.

Also, at the risk of sounding old fashioned, might I make a suggestion? I understand that as parents, Steven and I are a little behind on the progressive scale. In fact, I might even go as far to say that we are not allowing Miss L to get a tattoo or nose ring, until at least the third grade. That being said, until that point I would like to be able to find her a tote bag that would possibly be a little more mature than, say, Tinkerbell, but falling short of roses and knives with the words "Love Hurts" written across the front. I am not arguing the fact that love hurts, oh how we know it does, but when she is still of an age where I have to remind her to not run with scissors, I think the knife and heart might be an overkill. Pardon the pun.

I am sure in a couple of years when we allow her to dress in goth style and dye her hair black to match the tat's, the scull and crossbones motif will go quite nicely. Until then, some nice girly colors would serve us well.

Thank you in advance.

Love (hurts),



Manda said...

LOL@ this one...i feel it....

Anonymous said...

Love it!

~*Michelle*~ said...

Too funny!....I am right there with you with the stores' fashion choices. I can't stand those shirts with the obnoxious sayings on them or the hoochie coochie mama styles. *shudder* Thankfully, my little apple didn't fall too far and she still digs tie dye and baggie pants. (but you will see that she has a little hoochie in her if you check out my country fair entry a week or so ago....yikes!)

So how much is Aqua Net these days? My husband...yeah, he had longer hair than me when we got married....used to whip through a can a day, way back when.

Oh, I am becoming a big Kim fan, btw...


Mama Goose said...


It's sad, but oh so true.