Faithfully
Tomorrow will mark four years since we walked into a hospital, unaware that it would be over a month before we walked out...and then, essentially, straight into another one.
The knowledge of where we’ve been and the struggle associated with getting to where we are now never leaves my mind. It doesn’t leave Steven’s either. No doubt it was this fact that brought on the conversation we shared one night before bed. As we were lying there, silently waiting for sleep, Steven said “I am so thankful that I have gotten to see the things I’ve seen. There was a time I didn’t believe I would be around to see them.” Lakyn’s 8th grade graduation, ballgames, the FFA award ceremony, Blake growing and becoming less of a boy and more of a man were a few of the things listed. And then he paused. Almost as an admission of guilt, Steven said, “There was a time that I felt so bad that I thought that the best thing that could happen would be for me to fall asleep and not wake up. I’m so thankful that I am still here.”
I physically felt the heaviness of his statement. It was a weight sitting on my chest. I don’t know if the weight was due to the realization of Steven’s struggle during that time, or the remembrance of my own.
I held onto him and said a prayer for the future and what it would hold for all of us, and I thanked God that he has allowed my husband to wake up each morning.
*****
Thank you all for your continued prayers, support and concern for my family. There is rarely a day that goes by that someone doesn't ask how Steven is doing...and, as I stated before, his diagnosis was four years ago. You still care. That fact does not go unnoticed.
This community is good. So very good. And you have all done more for me than you could ever know.
I have never heard God's voice so clearly, or felt as close to Him, as I have the last four years. I don't think God moved...or spoke louder. I think I just listened closer and more intently. And you, my friends, made it impossible to not see the hands and feet of Christ at work. You ministered to us. Your actions preached a sermon. Your love healed wounds.
I will never forget what we've been through, and honestly, I don't want to.
This experience has changed me. It continues to change me.
And I thank you all for that.
The knowledge of where we’ve been and the struggle associated with getting to where we are now never leaves my mind. It doesn’t leave Steven’s either. No doubt it was this fact that brought on the conversation we shared one night before bed. As we were lying there, silently waiting for sleep, Steven said “I am so thankful that I have gotten to see the things I’ve seen. There was a time I didn’t believe I would be around to see them.” Lakyn’s 8th grade graduation, ballgames, the FFA award ceremony, Blake growing and becoming less of a boy and more of a man were a few of the things listed. And then he paused. Almost as an admission of guilt, Steven said, “There was a time that I felt so bad that I thought that the best thing that could happen would be for me to fall asleep and not wake up. I’m so thankful that I am still here.”
I physically felt the heaviness of his statement. It was a weight sitting on my chest. I don’t know if the weight was due to the realization of Steven’s struggle during that time, or the remembrance of my own.
I held onto him and said a prayer for the future and what it would hold for all of us, and I thanked God that he has allowed my husband to wake up each morning.
*****
Thank you all for your continued prayers, support and concern for my family. There is rarely a day that goes by that someone doesn't ask how Steven is doing...and, as I stated before, his diagnosis was four years ago. You still care. That fact does not go unnoticed.
This community is good. So very good. And you have all done more for me than you could ever know.
I have never heard God's voice so clearly, or felt as close to Him, as I have the last four years. I don't think God moved...or spoke louder. I think I just listened closer and more intently. And you, my friends, made it impossible to not see the hands and feet of Christ at work. You ministered to us. Your actions preached a sermon. Your love healed wounds.
I will never forget what we've been through, and honestly, I don't want to.
This experience has changed me. It continues to change me.
And I thank you all for that.
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