I remember nine months ago driving to work, tears clouding my vision.
My little boy was starting kindergarten. My baby.
I was heart sick.
How could our time together already be coming to a close?
How was it possible?
What would I do with my time on my two days off without him there with me?
I couldn't stand the thought of being in that house without my kids.
I went and was fingerprinted and had a background check and received my substitute teacher certification, so that I could spend some time at the very school they went to. It would help me to fill the empty days.
But do you know what?
I never found the time to actually give it to the school.
Not one day was I simply at home without something to do.
In fact, I could count on one hand with fingers left over how many days I was at home the entire time between their drop-off and pick-up from school.
Where does the time go?
Earlier this week we all loaded in the car and headed for B's kindergarten graduation.
Did you "hear" me?
As I watched the Class of 2023 enter the gymnasium I felt my eyes get misty....and my chest swell with pride.
B was so proud of himself...and I was proud of him, too.
(Plus, I was determined NOT to cry because B told me he wanted me to cry so that he could laugh at me.)
(You'd think they would cut me some slack!)
Just nine months ago I had a little boy that was anxious about so many things, primarily change, and today, he is embracing it more readily.
He was all smiles as he got ready to go up and get his diploma.
And he was even more excited after he got it.
Although, truthfully, I am not entirely sure it was the diploma that excited him or the fact that he knew that in just a few moments, he was going to get to toss his cap.
Because, let's face it. Whether kindergarten, high school, or college graduation, we ALL look forward to that moment where we can just let it fly.
Steven and I are so proud of our children. Each one is completely different than the other....and yet, great compliments to each other.
I am continually amazed at the amount of love that you can hold in your heart....and how I am more blessed than I ever dreamed I would be.
Surprisingly, I didn't cry at B's graduation like I did at L's.
I didn't see Steven let the flood gates down either.
Maybe we are ALL learning something through the years....like how to embrace and enjoy each moment and milestone, how to bask in the light of who our children are becoming, how to accept where we are in life and the gifts that we have been given, and maybe, just maybe, how to love....without looking back.
Of course, B has learned a lot this year, too.
Last night he told me that since he was already reading chapter books, he thought he should skip 1st and 2nd grades and go ahead and enter 3rd grade with his sister.
I may have learned, and grown, a lot during this past year.....and I might not be fighting the passage of time quite as hard, but I am certainly not ready for THAT!
Thankfully, I think that 1st grade will suit him just fine.
And it will suit me just fine, too.
Of course, I reserve the right to regress at any given moment....