Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Note to self....

Dear self,

Why? Why...do you do some of the things you do? Are you not thinking straight?.....Has the infection from the pink eye spread to your brain? Are you still caught off guard because someone who came to visit noticed your fly was down? Have you lost all sense of propriety? People were depending on you to maintain their low key profiles....and here you are drawing attention to yourself. You have let them down. Way down. I don't mean to throw you under the bus, but you have got to get yourself together.

Oh well, you could probably do something worse than leaving your barn door being open. Things might look up. Maybe I made a friend.

Love,
Me

Looks can be deceiving.......

Friday, June 23, 2006

Much ado about nothing...

I am really so bored/tired today that I am a little delirious. It has just been one of those days...not really a bad day...just a long one. Since my brain is too tired to do much I will attempt a random thoughts blog today.

  • Why does it seem that, in general, women settle for men that aren't good enough for them and men land women that are too good for them (but they don't know it)......This is a phenomenom.
  • Why is it that Wal Mart sells out of children's wading pools and doesn't restock in Mid June when it is freaking 90 degrees? Do they not think that people swim when it is hot?
  • Will the new Wal Mart be as good as my mind had anticipated it being, or is it going to be the same, with a touch of pain in the butt parking?
  • Will anyone ditch their current salon stylist to now go get their haircut at the Super Wal-Mart hair salon?
  • I think my son has developed an ear infection while on an antibiotic.......
  • How can I get out of fixing supper tonight?
  • John Kerry is a big joke......rain forest....blah blah blah......gun control.....blah blah...GW is so much better looking in a Carhartt.
  • I think our presidential elections should be held American Idol style.
  • Yo Yo Yo dawg
  • Should Oprah really re-air her episode about how she lost the weight and kept it off, when now during re-run season, it is apparent she hasn't kept it off?
  • I wonder if anyone in prison would like to write me a letter?
  • I must be gross.....I remember working at the bank with Becca and Lizard Tamer and Exambo.....and all of them at least once told me....."just wait, when the factory workers come through..... You will totally get hit on.....we all do" I am still waiting.....(10 years later)
  • I can't believe that Debbie doesn't think that Dena is old enough to be a PBR....she's 31
  • Sarah L. is way too nice.....way too nice
  • It's nice to think that someone thinks that 31 is too young for anything
  • My kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Layman, looks the same as she did 25 years ago...amazing.
  • If the presidential election WAS American Idol style....what would they compete on...it COULDN'T/SHOULDN'T be policies.....song choices say soooo much more about a person.
  • There is a couple out on our parking lot in a multi-colored primered small pickup.....the man is sitting in the drivers seat, the hood is up, and the woman is laying on the asphalt looking under the truck---please see thought #1.

Have a wonderful weekend......

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Story hour......

.....and it will take about that long to tell this story......

Last week our family was out on the deck enjoying a nice summer evening. My husband noticed that the abundant population of bluejays were eating our dog food. These birds, I have been told, are a nuisance. He decided that he was going to thin them out. After returning from the basement with his gun, he begins shooting these birds. My daughter is not fond of loud noises, to say the least, so she retreated into the house to wait it out. After the killing spree was over she returned, along with a fascination of guns. She kept saying "Daddy let me shoot....". As a mother this made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. My greatest fear is something happening to my children.....and if it could be made worse, it would be that this "something" would be "something" that could be prevented. This gun fascination prompted me to sit my daughter down and have a talk with her. (Can you have a talk with a 3 year old?)

I explained, although I am unsure as to how well, that guns are VERY dangerous. I emphasized that she should NEVER, NEVER touch one. EVER! (My husbands guns are put up, out of reach, out of sight, in an unoccupied section of the basement. Once the children are able to play unsupervised, they will be locked up. ) But these days, you just NEVER know what your kids are going to encounter, even at the age of 3. I told her that guns kill people....and then in her language I said....."you could die". Now I know that this sounds extremely harsh to be talking about death to a 3 year old, but she is very dramatic and speaks frequently about death. For example, when her baby brother is about to put something in his mouth she will say..."Mommy, he is going to choke and DIE!" Once again, I do not believe she is capable of fully understanding death, but she does refer to it often.

So, in my quest to be a wonderful mother/teacher/leader etc.....

This weekend I saw a dead field mouse outside in our front yard. Apparently the cat had gotten the best of it. I told my daughter that there was a dead mouse outside.....She could barely contain her enthusiasm and excitement to see it. She is intrigued by gross stuff (including her brothers' poop/puke/messes as well as any bleeding owies we obtain) and ran out to see the mouse. I then went into my spill about it being dead and going to be with Jesus....she thought it needed to see its mommy and daddy and that it was sleeping. After about 5 minutes of trying to explain what it means to be dead, I decided that I would bury it. Ah Hah! This will drive home the point, I thought.

So I went to the garage and emerged with a shovel in hand. My husband couldn't contain his laughter. He had just finished ridiculing me (good natured, of course) about the fact that the ground was hard as a rock due in part to the drought we are in and that there was no way I would be able to dig a hole. After I came out determined to prove him wrong he pointed out that I was going to have to dig a bigger hole now..... Looking up I spot our dog running proudly towards us, carrying in his mouth a prize.....A DEAD RABBIT. So I put the rabbit AND the mouse on the shovel and off we go to have a mass burial. My daughter was really stumped now. Here I was telling her the rabbit was dead, yet his eyes were clearly open?

Obviously I couldn't dig a hole, however while enjoying this "lesson" being taught to my daughter, my husband pointed me to a pile of old dirt, hay and horse poop. It was fairly loose and on top of the ground so I shoveled some off and laid it on top of the carcasses. We said a prayer for Jesus to take care of the bunny and the mouse and I went to put up my tools. As we emerged from the horse lot and entered the yard my daughter forged ahead saying something about dead animals. I no more than had put up my stuff we she returned happily saying she had found a dead bird......... Yes, we buried it too.

.....Last night I was cooking and I heard the door close. I waited for her to return in a timely manner. It seemed as if a reasonable amount of time had passed....I went to the deck and hollered...again and again and again....no response. My heart is quickening. I run to the front door and yell her name. NOTHING! I run through the garage....and there she is! Our conversation is as follows:

"What wrong mommy?"
"You answer me when I yell for you!"
"Why?"
"Because I worry."
"Why you worry?"
"Because you could get hurt."
"I not hurt."
"I know, but I worry that you could get hurt, (and then probably not the best thing to say to a 3 year old...) or killed." ---Before I get hate mail....I know I shouldn't have said this...it was just my big fear surfacing.--

This stumps her.....then she furrows her brow and says, matter of factly...with her arms outspread, looking around...

"There no guns out here. I not get killed. Guns are not out here."

I GIVE UP! You can't win.......

Happy Birthday!


Today is my bouncing baby boys' first birthday! Happy birthday to my little wildman.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

My thoughts at 30

  1. Turning 30 isn't as bad as being 30.
  2. My eyes are continually watering and I am not sure if it is my allergies or if I am subconsiously crying.
  3. I wonder if I could lose 20 lbs by tomorrow, so that I don't look like a whale while swimming with Kristina and Lindsey?
  4. I hate to tell Becca, but I too have a sweating problem today, even though I am sporting Mitchum.
  5. If I wished that I would lose 20lbs by tomorrow while blowing out my candles, would it come true?
  6. My underwire is poking into me......severely.
  7. I am not looking much like myself lately.
  8. I wonder if I would gain 20 lbs by tomorrow if I ate my WHOLE birthday cake? (red velvet)
  9. I am lucky, all jokes aside, to have such good friends. That is one area of my life that is really blessed.
  10. AM I CRYING????
  11. When I redeem my gift certificate, could I get the massage therapist to sign a non disclosure agreement regarding the fragile, and puffy, state of my body.
  12. Maybe I shouldn't redeem the certificate......
  13. I wonder if the person giving the pedicure will vomit when they see my feet/toenails?
  14. What, EXACTLY, is a facial? And why did my boss have one?
  15. I can never, never, never get a divorce, because no other man can ever see my naked body again. I mean, really, I gross myself out at this point.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is the day......



I don't think that I look that bad for 30, do you????? Especially since I have 2 kids....

By the way, Becca and Sharnjean, my purchase from Wal-Mart REALLY worked, don't you think? I realize that it is kind of hard to tell from this particular pic, but use your imagination. I am a little camera shy, so I hated to just do a full frontal......... And can you believe the wonders that the Jergens tinted moisturizer did for my coloring....?? I just love that stuff.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Too cool............

Too cool for words..................

My last day at 29.......

Well, I have tried everything....and I mean everything.....to prevent tomorrow from coming. In fact, I decided that I could actually stay 29 until my daughter reaches the age of 11, and that would make me 18 when I had her....which is still socially acceptable...kind of. If I were to do this, I would have 9 more years.....being 29.

However, since my husband is already older than me.....he might not want that young of a bride. (Who am I kidding?)

I have decided (and since I decided it is ok) that I am going to allow myself to age. Whether I age gracefully or not remains to be seen, but I will age nonetheless. (Is nonetheless actually a word????) I heard on the Today show the other day, that 50 is the new 30. So actually I am 10.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Just checking in....

Well, I am still alive, although several didn't make it through this past weekend. I came back to work today and we are BUSY!

It seems as if someone, or some automated computer, is deriving some great joy in "commenting" on my posts. To them I would like to say, "Great job! Useful information. Keep up the great work."

Thursday, June 08, 2006

YES, I AM ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I am sure there are those of you who have been sitting on the edge of your seats, wringing your hands and trying to find ways to occupy your worried mind. The fact that blogger was down yesterday afternoon just compounded the anxiety, I am sure. I am here to tell you.... worry no more, I think. At least for the time being I am still among the living. Apparently my daughter needs to fine tune her psychic abilities......or she just missed the mark on what day. I guess only time will tell.

My fans that I am most familiar with received personal phone calls from me to be assured of my liveliehood. And my greatest fans called me, to be assured of my safety. To them I would like to say.....many thanks.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Made it through lunch.......

There seems to be some rising panic as to my livelihood thus far in the day....Yes, I did make it through lunch. I should have had her pinpoint the exact time my possible demise. Since, my daughter only said that I would die after I took her to the babysitter........there is all sorts of possible times this leaves open. Did she mean after I took her and then picked her back up? Or after I took her on Wed? Possibly Thurs????? Who knows. I will just have to keep my fingers crossed and my seatbelt fastened.

P.S. Since I acted somewhat troubled about her statement, she (as I stated in previous blog) said that just my truck would die.... so far that hasn't happened either. I guess it is just a waiting game. Also, I keep having flashbacks dating back to around 17 years ago. Me, my sister and my mom were getting ready to leave for a shopping trip to Springtown. My parents had just bought a new car. My sister, then around 3 yrs too, told my mom not to drive the new car that day because someone was going to hit us.....Sure enough, we were rearended in the middle of Springtown. I hope my sister hasn't passed on her childhood psychic ability to my daughter.....If so, I am doomed.

My final testament.....???

This morning my daughter, yes the ghost seeing daughter, told me that after I dropped her off at the sitter a car was going to hit me and I was going to die.... SHE IS THREE YEARS OLD!!! Where does she come up with this stuff? I must have had a stricken look on my face because I said, probably panicky, "I am going to die???"...to which she replies....."no, just the truck."

So here I am at work, wondering if on my lunch hour I am going to be plowed into by some wayward vehicle, and if in fact I am going to die, or if we are only going to be left with a "dead" truck. If I am no longer posting after this day, June 5, 2006, then you know that yes, indeed, the unspeakable has happened.